We were lulled into a false sense of security by the vibrant, verdant location photography and reviews which waxed lyrical about the atmosphere.
Upon arrival, you are taken straight back to the 80s, replete with eerie dirty yellow manchester, ancient cooktops, tiled floors and the obligatory in-room bidet for those all-too common encounters where toilet paper simply isn't enough.
Whilst there was a wide variety of breakfast victuals, none required us to avail ourselves of our teeth, and the combination of militantly aggressive pandemonium during serving rush hour (0830-0930) and faint background noise of other guests smacking their lips and gumming their food didn't make for the best start to the day.
The demography of the clientele strongly suggested Panoramica is less a holidaymakers' resort, and more an 'end of the line' institutional facility designed as a half-way house to smooth the passing from this life into what one can only assume, in no uncertain terms, to be purgatory.